How do the relatives of an addicted person change?

All of us, in one way or another, depend on each other. Absolute independence is only possible in complete isolation. It is good if a person is able to build a full relationship with the people around him. This enriches his life, gives him a sense of confidence in himself and in the future.

But there is another model of relationships, in which an unhealthy attachment to another person is formed. A special case of such relationships are interpersonal ties in families where there are drug addicts and alcoholics. The condition, mood, behavior of alco- and drug addicts begin to enormously affect the well-being of relatives. In such a case we are talking about co-dependence, which is impossible to cope with without help. Only psychologists and drug addicts of a drug rehabilitation center can help.

“Rescuer” and ”victim”

Co-dependency is a pathological attachment to a family member who drinks or uses drugs. There are two main patterns of behavior:

• the controlling role of the “rescuer” is expressed in the constant obsessive control of the behavior of the addicted person who has gambling addiction, alcoholism, or drug addiction;
• the sacrificial role of the person is expressed in a state of subordination, doom, and depression.

In both, all attention is focused on the personality of the addict, while one's own needs and the needs of other family members are ignored. The drug addict or gambler, alcoholic becomes the painful center, the dominant of the whole family's way of life. Such relations generate conflicts and tension, and do not contribute at all to the solution of the problem.

Unconsciously provoking the addicted person, loved ones reinforce pathological stereotypes of behavior and aggravate the intra-family crisis. The whole family gets involved in such addiction. In such situations, it is important to seek help from specialists in time, and it is necessary to work with the whole family.

How the co-dependency complex manifests itself

Co-dependence is mainly formed in people who have certain psychological prerequisites:

• Inadequately low self-esteem, shyness, insecurity.
• Difficult childhood, including the experience of living with a seriously ill or addicted relative.
• Mental trauma (violence, death of loved ones, etc.).

As a result of chronic stress, a kind of co-dependent complex is formed, which is expressed in these manifestations:

• Denial of the problem.
• Compulsive behavior.
• Confidence in their own inferiority and guilt.
• Outbursts of rage.
• Loss of connections with the outside world, isolation.
• Lack of any emotions.
• Thoughts of suicide.

Constructive way out of co-dependency

Rigid control, accusations, threats, tantrums and admonishments - all this is completely useless. What a person suffering from this or that form of addiction really needs is understanding, moral and spiritual support, unwavering faith in his or her strength and abilities. It is necessary to help a loved one to realize the depth and seriousness of the problem and want to get rid of it with the help of a narcologist and psychologist. It is up to him/her to make a decision.